Please heed these warnings

If you are not in the mood for nagging, move on to the next page. Yep, I am about to go into a mom, wife, OSHA inspector-type tirade.

Please, please, please heed those tired, worn out warnings about safety in the home.

You have heard it a million times; make sure rugs are secure, make sure you have safety cords on your blinds, make sure your tile is not slippery, and make sure there is a place other than the floor for size 10 men’s athletic shoes.

Consider all those admonitions that you have heard throughout time as a premonition rather than just a warning.

Yes, I am typing this week’s musings on how to decorate a beautiful home with just one hand. Yes, I (literally) fell victim to a focus on aesthetics and overlooked clutter. Yes, I fell victim to the tackle of a pile of running shoes and decorated my own floor with my entire being,

I think I had a momentary experience of an existential floating when it first happened. I wasn’t unconscious, but my mental inventory of body parts was proceeding well, at least until I got to my wrist that was shaped in a way I never knew possible.

The owner of the menacing footgear, my husband Mike, dutifully drove me to St.Vincent Carmel where I was greeted by a group of professionals ready to repair the result of my worst decorating mistake ever – a safety hazard.

A broken wrist, surgery, anesthesia and a mobility reducing cast are not worth the time it would have taken to put those formidable foes called shoes in a safe place.

The same holds true for loose rugs, exposed wires, cluttered stairs, and as I learned from by new BFFs that spent their Saturday night tending to me, the biggest culprit of all, abandoned dog toys.

So, consider this the opportunity to avoid a Saturday night date with the gang at St.V’s and take the issue of safety seriously.

And to those who were by my side during my “decorating disaster,” Dr. Mindrebo, Dr. Priddy, Jennifer, Megan, Kari, Phil and Terry, thank you. And thank you to the nameless medical company rep who used his Saturday evening to deliver the part needed for the surgery.

You were what we all hope to experience when placed in such a vulnerable situation, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.