Opinion: Sweet South Carolina

I just returned from a week-long vacation on the South Carolina coast. Here are some things I learned or was reminded of while there.

  • Holy hello, the south is HOT. The average daily temperature was 95° F, but with the humidity, it felt like 105° F. On the beach it wasn’t too bad, but roadside, with no breeze whatsoever, the heat was suffocating. No wonder Southerners talk so slowly; speaking at a normal rate would cause one to combust. And how anyone ever fought a war down there is beyond me. Sunbathing with a cocktail was almost more activity than I could tolerate.
  • Too much chlorine does actually turn your hair green. My 10-year-old can prove it.
  • If you must travel by mini-van, night-time driving is the only way to go. Heading down, my four kids and I sat for an hour outside of Asheville, N.C., because construction and lane closures turned I-40 into a parking lot. And don’t even get me started on the frustrations of I-95 and I-26 on a Saturday afternoon. Let’s just say I was longing for the glorious jams on U.S. 31 by the time we arrived.
  • KFC cannot be expected to provide 24 biscuits on the spur of the moment. Call ahead, people! Jeeze.
  • Everything tastes better with lard. I had lunch in Savannah at a restaurant where all the menu items were hosed down in fat. Read the following with a lazy southern drawl: butter-bacon shrimp, collard greens, fried green tomatoes, grits and cream-infused honeydew melon soup. Mmm.
  • I’m a darn good single parent. My husband Doo couldn’t join us until mid-week, so I was flying solo for the better part of this vacation. I’m proud to announce there were minimal sunburns on my watch, only two jelly-fish stings, and just one emotional breakdown from my 13-year old daughter. Not that I like parenting by myself, but it’s good to know that in a pinch, I can still enjoy a relatively drama-free time with the minions.
  • A splinter can ruin your entire day. Again, ask my 10-year-old.
  • I have finally broken my cellular addiction! Distracted by parenting, beach reading, boogie-boarding and cockroaches the size of small dogs, I missed seventeen calls. And I didn’t even care. Suck it, Verizon!
  • Road trips aren’t what they used to be. One of my sisters commented that despite the long hours in the car, she and her sons hardly interacted because of their Nintendo DS’s and DVD player. Of course, when we were kids, we wore no seat belts and chain-smoked candy cigarettes. Go figure.

I hope you discovered something new this summer too! Peace out.