Opinion: Card carrying card carrier

I have always wanted to collect something no one else in the world collects.

Over the years at Channel 8, I interviewed people with odd collections: a man with thousands of different sugar packets, a man with hundreds of mousetraps and one person with a garage full of water sprinklers. Another had 2,500 monkey wrenches. I even did a report on a woman who collects stamps. How weird is that hobby?

It’s kind of dumb if you’re the only person collecting something. There’s no one to brag to and no one to sell it to when you realize how you have been wasting the last 20 years of your life.

At the car wash yesterday, I noticed a great assortment of greeting cards, far funnier than the average Hallmark selection. People need a good laugh when both they and their cars are getting soaked for 20 bucks.

Many of the cards depicted political figures, replete with caricatures and satirical remarks. They wish you Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, and Get Well Soon, and there is even a Happy Bar Mitzvah card from “Uncle Bernie,” including a slot for a huge check.

When I got home, I went online to find out how far back the idea of funny political greeting cards went. I wanted to research a little of their history, but I found nothing.

Certainly a political cartoonist would know, so I called one. “Drawing a blank, Dick. And that’s not something most cartoonists will admit to.”

I called a political science professor at IU. “Sorry, I never thought about it, Mr. Wolfsie. Actually, I believe I can safely say no one has ever thought about it.”

Had I found something that no one else collected? How cool is that?

I now have 25 different politically themed greeting cards, including seven featuring Donald Trump. So now I’m thinking of starting a club, and maybe creating a website or publishing a monthly newsletter about political cards.

And why not? It’s great. I have to be honest with you: I may have the largest collection in the world. Believe me.