Column: Most exhausting time of the year
Commentary by Danielle Wilson
This is the time of year, folks, that I am perpetually exhausted.
As a parent, I’m tired of the dance and color guard competitions that I feel compelled out of guilt to attend. As a teacher, I’m overwhelmed by the fact that we still have two months left in the school year when I’ve been over it since the godforsaken time change three weeks ago. And as a mom, if I have to clean up one more muddy paw or footprint, you will probably find me apoplectic and naked in the hard liquor aisle at Meijer.
Enough already. Let’s just get summer here!
Seriously. Spring is stupid. The weather can’t make up its mind, one day snowing and the next a balmy 75, which means cold and flu season will never die. I can’t store away the parkas and boots, but I also have to have shorts and flip-flops at the ready. On rainy afternoons, I feel happy because I have an excuse to sit on my couch and do nothing, but then the sun will come out and shine on those show-off daffodils, and I feel miserable for sitting on my couch and doing nothing. And then I catch a glimpse of my pale self in a mirror and I wonder how I’m actually seeing a reflection since clearly I’ve transformed into a vampire over the long dark winter. Perhaps most significantly, all the sports worth watching come to end by mid-April and I’ve nothing to fill the void except U18 rec soccer, which more often than not gets cancelled because of lightening or funnel clouds.
True, my beloved Kentucky Derby takes place the first Saturday in May, and, of course, there’s a car race around here that people seem to like, but apart from those, why bother? Why can’t we just skip to July, bring out the heat and cold beer and get down to enjoying the best few months of the year? No homework battles, no early morning alarms and no plastic Easter grass to cut out of the Bissell. Because frankly, I’m just exhausted!