Recently I’ve noticed a strange occurrence. My stomach will begin to hurt after I’ve been sitting for any length of time. At first, I thought it was too-tight jeans, but then I realized the pain would arrive with any number of pants or skirts that fastened at the waist. Conclusion: my clothes are shrinking! I suppose there is another explanation [...]
I have never aerated my lawn. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever written the word “aerated” before. If I did, I am sure I misspelled it. I think I accidentally went from liquefy to aerate while making a strawberry shake in our blender. That’s the extent of my experience. Despite many years as a homeowner, I first learned about [...]
I look around and I see a country divided, two sides facing off in bitter opposition, neither showing the slightest inclination to compromise or indicating any interest in closing the rift between them. I wonder: Is there any way, any way at all, to bridge the gap between Mayonnaise People and Miracle Whip People? No kidding: When it comes to [...]
I was a stay-at-home mom for nine years. NINE. YEARS. And it seemed more like 20 while I was living it. I think that’s because parenting is tough, and when you feel isolated and bored on a daily basis, month after month, the time does not pass swiftly. At least that was my experience. I know many moms who absolutely [...]
The sign in Grannie Fuchs’ store in Metamora is pretty direct: “You break it – you own it.” Fair warning to those who cruise the tiny shop full of items easily shattered. But the admonition also applies to an honor about to be bestowed by the folks at Guinness World Records who agree that once a record is broken you [...]
We said goodbye to Mom the other day. Oh, no. Not that. She’s still alive and kicking. Watch your shins. It’s just that there’s so much basketball on TV these days that Mom has more or less disappeared. It happens every year. She plants herself in front of the set and doesn’t really emerge except for quick meals and infrequent [...]
I’ve experienced a few migraines in my day, but I don’t consider myself a perennial sufferer. I’m hoping the headache I survived this weekend is not a sign of things to come. Here’s what happened. My husband, Doo, and I were out shopping at Fry’s. If you’ve never been, think Wal-Mart meets Best Buy with a dash of Menards. I [...]
When I was a kid, my uncle used to brag about his daily athletic regimen. “I start my exercise routine by lifting a five-pound potato sack over my head, then I go to a 10-pound potato sack. And finally a 25-pound potato sack. After that, I try putting a few potatoes in each bag.” I thought of that joke the [...]
Kind of a big-deal week going on for me right now. I’m having bariatric surgery. (Note: I hereby promise not to write extensively about the experience. Unless, of course, it means I can write something off on my income taxes. In that case, get ready for My Weight-Loss Surgery Travelogue.) I have noticed that announcing my surgery to family and [...]
Have you been to a mall lately? I’m not talking about one of the newer outdoor dealio’s or even the fancy ones where you have to don heels and lipstick to be worthy of entering the doors. I’m talking a regular, built in the 1970’s, razed-a-forest-to-create, shopping mall. The one I visited over the weekend is typical of most, I [...]
